Friday, August 31

Laffs, Wits and Humors

It's been raining the past few days, I feel a little gloomy. And the news are not good either. Until I've read some quotes from the Cavalier Magazine (a journal for PMA alumni). Here, have a good laugh;

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." David Bissonette

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but they stay together." Hermant Joshi

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. " Socrates

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them." Dumas

The great question...which I have not been able to, "What does a woman want?" Sigmund Freud

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..." Anonymous

"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to." Henry Youngman

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." Rodney Dangerfield

"A good wife always forgives her husband when he's wrong." Milton Berle

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." Anonymous

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Anonymous


ScroochChronicles said...

Ayos itong mga quotes. I can relate..hehehe :)

Heart of Rachel said...

Thanks for sharing these nice amuzing quotes.

Have a great weekend!

rowena said...

Hi Cookie, ayos na ayos talaga, he he.

Hi Rach, medyo I feel gloomy, instead of rants, I decided to post these quotes. Have a nice weekend too.