Thursday, June 21

Are You a Victim of Abuse?

Take this quiz by Laura Wilkinson (as posted in the July issue of Kerygma).

Does your spouse or significant other:

1. Hit, punch, slap, shove or bite you?

2. Threaten to hurt you or your children?

3. Threaten to hurt friends or family members?

4. Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?

5. Behave in an overprotective manner?

6. Become jealous without reason?

7. Prevent you from seeing family or friends?

8. Prevent you from going where you want, when you want?

9. Prevent you from working or attending school?

10. Destroy personal property or sentimental items?

11. Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards or even the car?

12. Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?

13. Force you to have sex against your will?

14. Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy?

15. Insult you or call you derogatory names?

16. Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?

17. Humiliate you infront of your children?

18. Turn minor incidents into major arguments?

19. Abuse or threaten to abuse pets?

20. Withhold affection from you?

If you answered yes to even one of those questions, you are being abused, according to Ms. Wilkinson.

My piece of thought and advice- hurting one another among parents can be quite traumatic for the kids especially if this is a daily occurence in the family. It destroys relationships and eventually the whole family. If someone you know is being hurt physically/abused, encourage her to file a complaint in their barangay office or nearest police station (there's a women & child desk officer in every station), have his/her injuries/wounds checked or treated to a government hospital, request for a medico-legal certificate. Show the certificate to the barangay captain, who will in turn, issue a Barangay Protectipn Order (BPO). This order states that the husband cannot go near the wife again anywhere for 30 days (just enough time to transfer to a new place, change all the door locks, or learn taekwondo he he) just like a court restraining order. Lastly, let her consult counselors. The kids need to undergo counselling also. They can seek counselling (for free) at the Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM) in Ateneo or other NGO's dealing with women victims of domestic violence.